About Me

Cedar Creek, Queensland, Australia
At the age of 40, I thought I was the luckiest man in England. I had been married to my childhood sweetheart for 15 years with 4 wonderful children that I doted on. I was self employed, making good money and living in a beautiful 500 year old farmhouse. We had great friends, great holidays then BOOM. My life imploded. My wife had an affair. A bitter divorce ensued. I was forced out of my home and out of my business. My Ex hired aggressive lawyers who cleaned me out financially. All in the space of a year. I was then offered a job on the other side of the world in Brisbane, Australia. Since then, I have started to rebuild my life and am happier than ever. I have remarried, discovered a wonderful country that I am proud to call home and am continuing to learn and become a better person. My new life has come at a price but I do not regret what I have done. I have always been a caring, loving Dad who is now alienated from my four teenage children because I did not behave as my ex-wife wanted me to behave. This blog describes reflections on life then, now and into the future. My blogs may be random but I hope they are not dull. Life isn't. It is what you make it.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Nunyara Retreat Ecolodges. Click here.

The feedback we have been getting towards developing exclusive Ecolodges on the property has been overwhelmingly positive. We have therefore developed the concept a little further and the slides show our concept. Now to approach the planners!!!!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010


Lovely to see dozens of new graduates, all dressed in their graduation uniforms celebrating by the river in the bright winter sunshine with their loved ones. What a joyous moment. One that will live with them for ever.
As an alienated Dad, this is something that I will be likely to miss. My children are embarking on further education in a life that is closed to me. I do not know what, where or how they will be studying but I'm proud of them nonetheless. If I'm not to be a part of that journey with them then I would feel a fraud to be at any graduation ceremony in the future. However, seeing those happy families today did make me feel pleased for their gain and sad for my loss.
I hope they come back to me.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

A new low for my Ex

The other Saturday, I was enjoying a quiet cup of tea when a police officer knocked on our door. He wanted to discuss "a delicate matter". It transpired that my Ex wife had made a formal allegation about me to the Wiltshire Police about "harrassment and malicious postings on Facebook and by email". The UK police contacted the Australian Police to follow it up.

She alleged that I had to be forcibly removed from her house last year and had also been harrassing juvenile friends of my children via email and Facebook.

The reason for this post is so that any non believers in Parental Alienation can now see that if my Ex is prepared to stoop this low then what chance do I have of having an open and honest relationship with my children who live with her enmeshed in this web of lies and disregard for my well being.

I am posting this to Facebook. Why? Because my friends on Facebook have unrestricted access to my postings and can confirm that I have never posted anything that could be regarded as malicious or harrassing towards my Ex or my children.

Some of my friends are linked to my Ex on Facebook though. I would never try to persuade them not to be or to take sides. I do ask them to seriously consider my Ex's allegations and to ask yourself what she tried to achieve in causing unnecessary hassle for Tina and I? I wonder whether the kids knew what she did?

It is true that I often write about Parental Alienation. However, I am not linked to my Ex so how can that be harrassment? Besides, it is true. I am alienated. My goal is to educate others about PAS, not to relate my own situation as such.

I am not linked to any of my children on Facebook and have not emailed or posted to them or my Ex in 2010. The only exception is a monthly letter I write to the kids and put in the post telling them of my life, how much I miss them and reiterating that they are loved. Is that what she means by harrassment?

I went back to England in August 2009 to see my kids but on arriving, the door was slammed in my face. I stayed on the doorstep and rang the doorbell but within 2 minutes, a police car arrived- she had called the police. I was advised to "not disturb the peace". There was never a question of being "forcibly removed". The Police could not quite believe that I had travelled half way round the world to have that happen. It never will again.

The policeman suggested that I could make counter allegations but what is the point? I am angry but the greater feeling is of despondency. When will this end? When will my Ex finally see that what she is doing is harming the kids?

She has hit a new low. I am quite sure that if she gets sight of this post, she will scream that I am being malicious and harrassing her. You decide.

I worry about the sanity of my kids living with someone who continually distorts the truth and, in doing so, sets such a poor example to my children. The real reason for all of this? I believe it is driven by jealousy. She envies the life I have created and this is her only way of getting back at me. She uses the children as weapons and the law as a tool to continually remind me that she is in my life.
Another sad reminder that Parental Alienation is a form of Child Abuse and should be a criminal offence.

Friday, June 25, 2010

A reminder of PAS

We have guests with us from the UK. Neil is remarried and has 4 kids
from his first marriage, just like me. His ex wife took all of the
family assets leaving him with just debt and facing bankruptcy, just
like me. He now has an opportunity to move to Australia and start a
new life, just lime I did. However, the most chilling similarity is
that he has been alienated from his children for the past year. He
tells me how he has tried to see his kids but his ex refuses to let
them see him. He has no idea why. He sometimes bumps into them in the
local supermarket and they run and hide from him. Like me, he is
hurting to the core. There is a difference though: Living close to his
Ex means he has constant reminders of this hurt. It is in his face. It
is affecting his self esteem and yet he feels helpless to fight
against it. He has no means or will to fight it in the (toothless)
courts nor does he wish to cause a scene on the doorstep. He says he
fully understands why I chose to come to Australia to start a new
life. Does this mean that we are running away or giving up on our
children? Far from it. The distance helps us to heal and become better
people rather than have salt rubbed in the wounds constantly. Our kids
know we love them. They know that nothing has changed. We could still
talk every day, go on holidays together and be there for each other.
They choose not to. I have every faith that one day, my kids will be
able to judge for themselves and see beyond their mothers rhetoric and
evil manipulation of the truth. I will wait for them. It may take
months, years or decades but I will always be their dad.
I know Neil is in turmoil and agonizing over whether a move to
Australia would be the final nail in the coffin with his broken
relationship with his kids. I can only reassure him that he has to
stay true to his ideals and be the best person he can be so that WHEN
his kids come back into his life, they will respect the fact that he
picked himself up and never gave up on them.
Please share this note with anyone that you know is suffering from the
form of child abuse that is PAS.

Nick Davey

Friday, June 11, 2010

Alienated in Mexico

Just read an article in the newspaper that made me remember that PA is
a global phenomena.
A lady in Mexico recently discovered her daughter, who had been
abducted by her ex husband several years ago, via Facebook. She sent
her daughter photos and tried to connect to her, but her daughter
refused to have anything to do with her. Why? Because she had "heard
bad things" about her Mum. There are always two sides to every story.
Children should never be brainwashed into believing there is only one.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Trapped in time

I dreampt of my kids again last night. I often do. The trouble is that
my kids appear as they were when I knew them and had an intimate
relationship with them. When you are an alienated parent, you are
deprived of their evolving hopes, dreams, personalities and thoughts.
It is as if they are frozen in time. I cling to these memories and
dreams as an affirmation that I am a good parent, a good father.
Without them in my life, the self belief is eroded as you cling to
something increasingly distant and abstract. PAS is not just child
abuse, it is also parent abuse.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Another day, another poignant reminder

Familiy gatherings on Mothers Day. Young kids playing in the fishing
park, parents showing their kids how to fish and playing cricket as if
their life depended on it. I loved those times with my kids but
memories are all I have now.

Friday, May 7, 2010

It's complicated

Having four children living the other side of the world and refusing
to acknowlege your existence: Its complicated. So it seemed
appropriate to watch the movie of the same title. Good movie but every
scene, every emotion portrayed touched on my own complications. Do my
childdren want reconciliation between me and my Ex?will my kids ever
understand the adult perspective? Will I ever get to sit down and have
a "family" meal with them ever again? Most peoples normality is my
exception. It isn't just complicated. Parental Alienation is evil and
it is always with you like a shadow. A simple thing like watching a
movie becomes painful rather than enjoyable. I am a victim yet
Parental Alienation makes you feel as if you are the perpetrater. Get
back with my Ex? It's not that complicated. Only in the movies. She is
a child abuser, abusing the mind, and nothing will ever allow me to
forgive her. I have moved on and lead a happy life with a wonderful
woman who loves me for what and who I am. Having the kids in my life
would make my life complete. But it's complicated......

Nick Davey

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


Every month I write to my children. It is the only form of
communication left open to me. I do not have phone numbers, email
addresses, facebook access or any other means of telling them that I
love them or finding out what is going on. So what do I write in my
letters? I know little of their lives but yearn for common ground.
Inevitably I turn to the only common ground, the past. Do you remember
when....? As time marches on, I question the relevance but it's all I
have left. Memories. Being alienated goes far deeper than just not
seeing them. You lose the common ground and letters become just a
succession of empty words.


Saturday, May 1, 2010

Today's thought

Spoke to my mum today. She hadn't seen or heard from her grandchildren
for 18 months. Why? She has no idea other than her son (me) got
divorced. Alienation goes beyond just the parents. It does not respect

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Blog on the train

Today's Parental Alienation lowlight occured a few minutes ago. I
overheard a lady on her phone talking to her teenage son. Just normal
things like what do you fancy for tea, how was your day, are you going
out with your mates tonight?
How I long for conversations like that. I haven't spoken to my
children in nearly 2 years. Everyones normality reinforces the
abnormality of my situation. Being alienated hurts everyday in
different ways.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Parental Alienation- A Dad's story

Yesterday was Parental Alienation Awareness Day. Sat at home in our remote Queensland home, I didn't notice any different television programming, newspaper articles or even people handing out leaflets. It was as if I knew a secret that no-one else knew about. This made me feel even further alone and isolated, which is the direct objective of the Abuser of the Alienated parent.
I have found that the more I shouted to my Ex and y children about Parental Alienation, the less they appeared to listen. So I stopped and realised that I may not be able to ffect my own situation but I could help others with theirs.
The Internet can be a wonderful thing and I have the benefit of being linked to many people around he world who are also suffering from similar issues to the ones I am subject to. This makes me feel reassured that it isn't "just me" and that there are others who understand and can support me.
some of this online support is via a Facebook network. I was today invited to share thoughts via a blog that could be used as a resource to help others.
What a brilliant idea. Therefore I will be blogging to share my experiences of being an Alienated Dad to help others understand and to let others know that they are not alone.
Watch this space!