I was reminded yesterday that I had this blog site.
It just shows how time can run away from you just as much as your memory does!
It is now 3 years since I last posted to this blog.
A lot has changed in my life.
I have moved house, changed jobs and become an Australian Citizen.
However, some things have not changed.
I still do not have any contact with my children.
They are now aged 22, 21, 18 and 17.
Old enough to have independence of thought coupled with the intelligence and compassion to reconnect?
Or so you might think.
I am met with a wall of silence and it breaks my heart.
It has now been almost 5 years since I last saw them.
The only glimmer of hope is that I have finally won important cases against the CSA and my Ex Wife.
Whilst this will not make any difference directly to the children (can I still call them that?), indirectly it should make them think that they have been lied to and that the truth has finally emerged.
Time will tell.
In the meantime, life moves on and the adventure continues.
Maybe I will update this blog more regularly in future!
Nick May 2013
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Nunyara Retreat Ecolodges. Click here.
The feedback we have been getting towards developing exclusive Ecolodges on the property has been overwhelmingly positive. We have therefore developed the concept a little further and the slides show our concept. Now to approach the planners!!!!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Graduation
Lovely to see dozens of new graduates, all dressed in their graduation uniforms celebrating by the river in the bright winter sunshine with their loved ones. What a joyous moment. One that will live with them for ever.
As an alienated Dad, this is something that I will be likely to miss. My children are embarking on further education in a life that is closed to me. I do not know what, where or how they will be studying but I'm proud of them nonetheless. If I'm not to be a part of that journey with them then I would feel a fraud to be at any graduation ceremony in the future. However, seeing those happy families today did make me feel pleased for their gain and sad for my loss.
I hope they come back to me.
As an alienated Dad, this is something that I will be likely to miss. My children are embarking on further education in a life that is closed to me. I do not know what, where or how they will be studying but I'm proud of them nonetheless. If I'm not to be a part of that journey with them then I would feel a fraud to be at any graduation ceremony in the future. However, seeing those happy families today did make me feel pleased for their gain and sad for my loss.
I hope they come back to me.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
A new low for my Ex
The other Saturday, I was enjoying a quiet cup of tea when a police officer knocked on our door. He wanted to discuss "a delicate matter". It transpired that my Ex wife had made a formal allegation about me to the Wiltshire Police about "harrassment and malicious postings on Facebook and by email". The UK police contacted the Australian Police to follow it up.
She alleged that I had to be forcibly removed from her house last year and had also been harrassing juvenile friends of my children via email and Facebook.
The reason for this post is so that any non believers in Parental Alienation can now see that if my Ex is prepared to stoop this low then what chance do I have of having an open and honest relationship with my children who live with her enmeshed in this web of lies and disregard for my well being.
I am posting this to Facebook. Why? Because my friends on Facebook have unrestricted access to my postings and can confirm that I have never posted anything that could be regarded as malicious or harrassing towards my Ex or my children.
Some of my friends are linked to my Ex on Facebook though. I would never try to persuade them not to be or to take sides. I do ask them to seriously consider my Ex's allegations and to ask yourself what she tried to achieve in causing unnecessary hassle for Tina and I? I wonder whether the kids knew what she did?
It is true that I often write about Parental Alienation. However, I am not linked to my Ex so how can that be harrassment? Besides, it is true. I am alienated. My goal is to educate others about PAS, not to relate my own situation as such.
I am not linked to any of my children on Facebook and have not emailed or posted to them or my Ex in 2010. The only exception is a monthly letter I write to the kids and put in the post telling them of my life, how much I miss them and reiterating that they are loved. Is that what she means by harrassment?
I went back to England in August 2009 to see my kids but on arriving, the door was slammed in my face. I stayed on the doorstep and rang the doorbell but within 2 minutes, a police car arrived- she had called the police. I was advised to "not disturb the peace". There was never a question of being "forcibly removed". The Police could not quite believe that I had travelled half way round the world to have that happen. It never will again.
The policeman suggested that I could make counter allegations but what is the point? I am angry but the greater feeling is of despondency. When will this end? When will my Ex finally see that what she is doing is harming the kids?
She has hit a new low. I am quite sure that if she gets sight of this post, she will scream that I am being malicious and harrassing her. You decide.
I worry about the sanity of my kids living with someone who continually distorts the truth and, in doing so, sets such a poor example to my children. The real reason for all of this? I believe it is driven by jealousy. She envies the life I have created and this is her only way of getting back at me. She uses the children as weapons and the law as a tool to continually remind me that she is in my life.
Another sad reminder that Parental Alienation is a form of Child Abuse and should be a criminal offence.
She alleged that I had to be forcibly removed from her house last year and had also been harrassing juvenile friends of my children via email and Facebook.
The reason for this post is so that any non believers in Parental Alienation can now see that if my Ex is prepared to stoop this low then what chance do I have of having an open and honest relationship with my children who live with her enmeshed in this web of lies and disregard for my well being.
I am posting this to Facebook. Why? Because my friends on Facebook have unrestricted access to my postings and can confirm that I have never posted anything that could be regarded as malicious or harrassing towards my Ex or my children.
Some of my friends are linked to my Ex on Facebook though. I would never try to persuade them not to be or to take sides. I do ask them to seriously consider my Ex's allegations and to ask yourself what she tried to achieve in causing unnecessary hassle for Tina and I? I wonder whether the kids knew what she did?
It is true that I often write about Parental Alienation. However, I am not linked to my Ex so how can that be harrassment? Besides, it is true. I am alienated. My goal is to educate others about PAS, not to relate my own situation as such.
I am not linked to any of my children on Facebook and have not emailed or posted to them or my Ex in 2010. The only exception is a monthly letter I write to the kids and put in the post telling them of my life, how much I miss them and reiterating that they are loved. Is that what she means by harrassment?
I went back to England in August 2009 to see my kids but on arriving, the door was slammed in my face. I stayed on the doorstep and rang the doorbell but within 2 minutes, a police car arrived- she had called the police. I was advised to "not disturb the peace". There was never a question of being "forcibly removed". The Police could not quite believe that I had travelled half way round the world to have that happen. It never will again.
The policeman suggested that I could make counter allegations but what is the point? I am angry but the greater feeling is of despondency. When will this end? When will my Ex finally see that what she is doing is harming the kids?
She has hit a new low. I am quite sure that if she gets sight of this post, she will scream that I am being malicious and harrassing her. You decide.
I worry about the sanity of my kids living with someone who continually distorts the truth and, in doing so, sets such a poor example to my children. The real reason for all of this? I believe it is driven by jealousy. She envies the life I have created and this is her only way of getting back at me. She uses the children as weapons and the law as a tool to continually remind me that she is in my life.
Another sad reminder that Parental Alienation is a form of Child Abuse and should be a criminal offence.
Friday, June 25, 2010
A reminder of PAS
We have guests with us from the UK. Neil is remarried and has 4 kids
from his first marriage, just like me. His ex wife took all of the
family assets leaving him with just debt and facing bankruptcy, just
like me. He now has an opportunity to move to Australia and start a
new life, just lime I did. However, the most chilling similarity is
that he has been alienated from his children for the past year. He
tells me how he has tried to see his kids but his ex refuses to let
them see him. He has no idea why. He sometimes bumps into them in the
local supermarket and they run and hide from him. Like me, he is
hurting to the core. There is a difference though: Living close to his
Ex means he has constant reminders of this hurt. It is in his face. It
is affecting his self esteem and yet he feels helpless to fight
against it. He has no means or will to fight it in the (toothless)
courts nor does he wish to cause a scene on the doorstep. He says he
fully understands why I chose to come to Australia to start a new
life. Does this mean that we are running away or giving up on our
children? Far from it. The distance helps us to heal and become better
people rather than have salt rubbed in the wounds constantly. Our kids
know we love them. They know that nothing has changed. We could still
talk every day, go on holidays together and be there for each other.
They choose not to. I have every faith that one day, my kids will be
able to judge for themselves and see beyond their mothers rhetoric and
evil manipulation of the truth. I will wait for them. It may take
months, years or decades but I will always be their dad.
I know Neil is in turmoil and agonizing over whether a move to
Australia would be the final nail in the coffin with his broken
relationship with his kids. I can only reassure him that he has to
stay true to his ideals and be the best person he can be so that WHEN
his kids come back into his life, they will respect the fact that he
picked himself up and never gave up on them.
Please share this note with anyone that you know is suffering from the
form of child abuse that is PAS.
from his first marriage, just like me. His ex wife took all of the
family assets leaving him with just debt and facing bankruptcy, just
like me. He now has an opportunity to move to Australia and start a
new life, just lime I did. However, the most chilling similarity is
that he has been alienated from his children for the past year. He
tells me how he has tried to see his kids but his ex refuses to let
them see him. He has no idea why. He sometimes bumps into them in the
local supermarket and they run and hide from him. Like me, he is
hurting to the core. There is a difference though: Living close to his
Ex means he has constant reminders of this hurt. It is in his face. It
is affecting his self esteem and yet he feels helpless to fight
against it. He has no means or will to fight it in the (toothless)
courts nor does he wish to cause a scene on the doorstep. He says he
fully understands why I chose to come to Australia to start a new
life. Does this mean that we are running away or giving up on our
children? Far from it. The distance helps us to heal and become better
people rather than have salt rubbed in the wounds constantly. Our kids
know we love them. They know that nothing has changed. We could still
talk every day, go on holidays together and be there for each other.
They choose not to. I have every faith that one day, my kids will be
able to judge for themselves and see beyond their mothers rhetoric and
evil manipulation of the truth. I will wait for them. It may take
months, years or decades but I will always be their dad.
I know Neil is in turmoil and agonizing over whether a move to
Australia would be the final nail in the coffin with his broken
relationship with his kids. I can only reassure him that he has to
stay true to his ideals and be the best person he can be so that WHEN
his kids come back into his life, they will respect the fact that he
picked himself up and never gave up on them.
Please share this note with anyone that you know is suffering from the
form of child abuse that is PAS.
Nick Davey
Friday, June 11, 2010
Alienated in Mexico
Just read an article in the newspaper that made me remember that PA is
a global phenomena.
A lady in Mexico recently discovered her daughter, who had been
abducted by her ex husband several years ago, via Facebook. She sent
her daughter photos and tried to connect to her, but her daughter
refused to have anything to do with her. Why? Because she had "heard
bad things" about her Mum. There are always two sides to every story.
Children should never be brainwashed into believing there is only one.
a global phenomena.
A lady in Mexico recently discovered her daughter, who had been
abducted by her ex husband several years ago, via Facebook. She sent
her daughter photos and tried to connect to her, but her daughter
refused to have anything to do with her. Why? Because she had "heard
bad things" about her Mum. There are always two sides to every story.
Children should never be brainwashed into believing there is only one.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Trapped in time
I dreampt of my kids again last night. I often do. The trouble is that
my kids appear as they were when I knew them and had an intimate
relationship with them. When you are an alienated parent, you are
deprived of their evolving hopes, dreams, personalities and thoughts.
It is as if they are frozen in time. I cling to these memories and
dreams as an affirmation that I am a good parent, a good father.
Without them in my life, the self belief is eroded as you cling to
something increasingly distant and abstract. PAS is not just child
abuse, it is also parent abuse.
my kids appear as they were when I knew them and had an intimate
relationship with them. When you are an alienated parent, you are
deprived of their evolving hopes, dreams, personalities and thoughts.
It is as if they are frozen in time. I cling to these memories and
dreams as an affirmation that I am a good parent, a good father.
Without them in my life, the self belief is eroded as you cling to
something increasingly distant and abstract. PAS is not just child
abuse, it is also parent abuse.
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